A Heavy Heart (Prayer of an Unclean Man)

Updated: Oct 15, 2019

The Word of God will do one of two things: It will either break you towards repentance and seeking Christ; or it will harden you to become more focused on self and reject the saving Truth through Christ Jesus. Below, you will see that the Word of God crushed me with conviction. I went through a period of several years of being convicted of everything under the sun; but I listened, and I allowed God to have His way with me. Just as an earthly father must discipline his son, so God convicts us in love, in hopes that we would be drawn to repentance.


The wonderful thing about repentance is it yields oneself to God, it seeks Him, it longs to turn from sin and allows God to change the inner being within that person. When habitual, willful sin is no longer blocking the current of the Holy Spirit's power, it brings a supernatural peace and allows God to move within our lives in a mighty way.


My goal of sharing this brief prayer in my past, is to show you that conviction will bring you to a reality of oneself before a Holy God. Do not fear conviction. Do not become hardened by it. Rather, allow it to draw you to the One Who died upon that Tree, to set the captives free, from death for an eternity ~

Prayer of an Unclean Man


O God, forgive me of my iniquities. The very transgressions that put You upon that Cross. Lord, my heart is burdened beyond grief for my thoughts, actions and words. When I appear before that Judgment Throne, how many times will I have to view the same damnable sin in the midst of Your presence? How low I will be brought down. When You ask, “Give an account”, I will be speechless. I will have nothing to say. How downcast I will be for all the times I missed serving You. How saddened I will be for grieving the Holy Spirit.


May this temple, O God, be renewed and restored. Take my mind and heart, and draw it towards the Heavenly realms. Lord, destroy my passivity and my own self-deception. When acts of temptation come, may I not waiver at Your Word. May I know that “in Christ I am able to do all things.” May I come to a place where it is no longer my life that I live, but “it is Christ Who lives in me.”


Touch me, O God, with remembrance that one day I will stand before You. May I live my life knowing that everything is before You, O God. May that guide and lead me to appropriate action, thought, word and deed. God Almighty, keep my work dedicated to You. May all I do be led and done by the Holy Spirit. I do not want to take credit for any good that comes from me; but Lord, I take full responsibility for all sin within me.

How vile I am to think the thoughts that come. How wicked I am to utter these silent words within my head. O God, if Paul considered himself the worst of sinners, surely I am his general. God, free me of these constraining sins that have dominated my life. Destroy demonic oppression within me and guide me towards the path of holiness through sanctification.


Lord, how grateful I am for a heavy heart and burden over my sin. What a blessing it is to have conviction, Lord. I do not ask that You lift that from me, but I ask that You would restore to me the joy of You. Give me peace and tranquility, knowing that what the Devil meant for evil, You can work out for good. Surely, You work all things together for good to those who love You, Lord. May I be found with an authenticity and genuineness to come before Your Throne of grace, boldly. Forgive me, a mere mortal. Forgive me of my vileness and wickedness.


Lord, I cannot look at myself without disdain for the inner chambers of my heart. Even at church, my mind wanders and is distracted. How great I fall short of Your Majesty. Lord, I request a purification and cleansing within me. As I walk through this life, I don’t need accolades or promotions, Lord; I simply need more of You. I want to see You in all the days of my life. I want to grow in righteousness. I do not want to squander the time you have given me; I seek to proceed through this life with wisdom and discernment, Lord. May my eyes not look upon the natural, but may it gaze upon the Heavenly places. May I see You in all things; and may I seek to glorify You in all things. Focus all of who I am on the Person of Christ. Lord, may all I do be done with a conscious and subconsciousness that is ruled and focused on the thought of eternity.


To do a miracle outside of me, Lord, You must do a miracle internally. Destroy me of self, ambition and pride. May I be chained hand and foot to Your promises, Your Word and to Christ. Though I be dragged by Him, I will still be led by Him. Have compassion on me, Lord. May I live each and every day to glorify Your name. May I be molded into Christ and show others the glorious and miraculous work You have done within me. Help me to share Truth wherever I go. May all see Christ shine through me. Though, inwardly, I know I am but dust of the ground without You; though I know the times I have fallen; may the Holy Spirit’s presence glow with eternal peace and joy throughout my being. May others see something new within me. May they be drawn to the Light that dwells in me.


Holy Spirit, come now. Arise and awaken my inner being. Grow me in discernment and truth. Help me to love all. Direct my steps and replenish my love for life in Christ. Come mightily upon me and guide my entire being to do the will of the Father with each given hour of every day, Holy Spirit. I long for the day that I be set free from sin for an eternity; until that day, may I persevere. May I set no unclean thing before my eyes. Allow God’s grace, mercy, love and power to have its way in me, Holy Spirit. You are the reason why these dead bones live. May the glory be forever to God in Heaven.


In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.



Lance VanTine

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